the faded memories of this nobody
by Poiison
Summary: this a circle of short works surrounding the couple akuroku, axel/roxas. it will be rated m for safety reasons, it is not completed and i cannot say if there will be any mature content. behind the smile, the memories of this nobody have faded away.
1. Notice

This is the opening and notice about this collection of literature

This is the opening and notice about this collection of literature.

I am not sure about the content in these pieces since they are all separate. I'm pretty sure there will be something, when and what I do not know at the moment. So for safety reasons I will rate it as M and I will post a notice when there is mature content. There are warnings on each piece I upload here so be sure to read those.

All these short works will focus around the pairing akuroku, Axel x Roxas. This means **yaoi**, also know as **boy/boy. **If you do not enjoy or approve of this type of relationship do not keep reading.

Any characters portrayed in these works are copyrighted to Square-Enix, Disney and Buena Vista Games. I do not claim ownership to any of these characters. All of this writing is created by me and not taken from anywhere else. They may be cross-posted to livejournal in which my username is Poiisoned. It isn't stolen.

I hope you enjoy reading my works.

- Poiison


	2. ficlet: let the reality set in

Title: Let Reality Set In

Title: Let The Reality Set In

Rating: PG 13? Or just PG

Summary: I can't believe that I'm losing him,

Fandom: Kingdom Hearts II 2

Claim: AkuRoku axel x roxas

Theme: # 11 End

Word Count:

Disclaimers: I do not own any of the characters portrayed in this fanfiction. In no way am I making any profit, this is made purely for the enjoyment and challenge of the writer, being myself.

Warning: Character Death, Some blood, angst.

**Note**: In first person, narrator being roxas.

This was the end of the story.

I sat there, hands pounding and fingers gripping at Axel's chest. He couldn't be dead. He just couldn't be.

"Don't lie there dying with that stupid grin on your face!" I remember screaming through the tears. It was painful.

And I felt that empty feeling come back.

"Hey Roxas. I'm not gonna die." His bloody black glove touched my face, I grabbed his hand, no, I didn't want to let him go. I couldn't say anything, he was going to die and I knew it.

He lay amidst shrapnel with weapons scattered across the floor. The occasional flame flickering on any object. I kneeled next to him, breaking piece by piece as I stared at his face. His expression was like it had been any day before. Smug.

My mouth twisted into a desperate smile. I couldn't be happy.

"Roxas…" he practically gasped, eyes fluttering. "What'll happen to me when I die… as a nobody?" I wanted to convince myself he wouldn't die, that he'd stay. But it was impossible.

I laid my head on his chest, Axel was warm, his once erratic heartbeat slow substantially. He was going to leave me. "I don't know Axel. I don't know." I grabbed at his chest again, his blood smearing on my fingers. The reality that I had tried avoid started to sink in. I was alone.

"Don't cry over me." Axel smiled again, chuckling but in the process he had spit up some of his own blood. But he reached up to my face and wiped away the tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Stop it!" I whispered. "Just shut up and stop talking." Again he laughed but I gripped his hand firmly and stared into his intense emerald eyes. He stopped talking. I saw my reflection in his gaze and I knew I wouldn't be able to do anything. I was helpless.

We sat there exchanging glance after glance, we knew what was coming. But, I think Axel would be better with his death than I would be. My face was still flushed from the battle, my eyes flickering from axel and the bodies lying only a few feet away.

"Don't forget about me okay?"

"I'd never forget about you Axel. Never." He leaned forward pales lips pressing against mine. It wasn't going to last. Running my hands through his fiery hair I felt him smile into my mouth. Everything had just slowed down, frame-by-frame moving by me and I couldn't stop it. Axel's hand slipped off of my face, falling backwards and landing on the cold ground slowly and intense green eyes fluttering to a close.

I had lost Axel, along with my sanity.

This was the end.

**A/N**: it's un-beta'd crap.

I know it didn't happen of course and I hope I didn't butcher the characters too much?

No flaming, reviews?

They make me wanna keep writing. 3

Your 'always' loyal writer. lol


	3. drabble: to keep him alive

Title: To Keep Him Alive

Title: To Keep Him Alive

Rating: PG

Summary: What really was a memory?

Fandom: Kingdom Hearts II 2

Claim: AkuRoku axel x roxas

Theme: # 43 Memory

Word Count: 180 words

Disclaimers: I do not own any of the characters portrayed in this fanfiction. In no way am I making any profit, this is made purely for the enjoyment and challenge of the writer, being myself.

**Warning**: Nothing really. lol

--

Every touch, every breath, every lie, every life, and every memory haunted Roxas who sat up against a wall, gripping his knees. Diving deeper into his mind, he searched. Nothing.

What was a memory?

He truly didn't have any. He was blank. A small flame burned inside of him, keeping him from becoming something that he truly was. A forgotten memory in a life that was not really a life. Staring blankly at the opposing wall, crystalline eyes hazy, Roxas scowled and ran his thin fingers through his golden locks. There was one thing, no person that came running back and forth through his mind. Slowly encroaching his mind.

Axel.

Ever so slowly, Roxas' mouth turned up into a closed mouth grin. Axel. Maybe Axel just was everything Roxas had wanted, needed. The scene of a sunset replayed in his mind, two people sitting side-by-side on the edge of a tower, which hung over a town. Axel. Looking up, Roxas' grin grew larger.

Maybe it was the desperate need for a memory to anchor himself on.

To keep him _alive_.

--

**A/N: **lol this one was abnormally short like usual. It's un-beta'd like usual too. I guess this was more of a description type drabble, but whatever

So review I guess, no flaming, etc. etc.


	4. ficlet: his heart and soul

Title: His Heart and Soul

Title: His Heart and Soul

Rating: PG

Summary: what was this feeling? why do I feel like this without him?

Fandom: Kingdom Hearts II 2

Claim: AkuRoku axel x roxas

Theme: # 65 Holes

Word Count: 218 words

Disclaimers: I do not own any of the characters portrayed in this fanfiction. In no way am I making any profit, this is made purely for the enjoyment and challenge of the writer, being myself.

**Warning**: implied shounen ai, but besides that nothing really.

**Note**: nothing much. lol

--

What was this feeling?

It was a feeling of emptiness and it left a slight tingling sensation in the back of his throat. Just as if his heart and soul had been ripped savagely out of his chest. He could still feel it though, pulsating with ferocity in the crisp nighttime air. Leaving a hole in of middle of him, broken.

And it wouldn't just go away. No. It _couldn't_.

A keyblade slowly dropped out of Roxas' hands, slipping between his thin fingers. The second keyblade followed it, the sound echoing back and forth. They disappeared. Clenching his fingers and pulling his hand into a taut fist, Roxas scowled. Blood slowly dripped out of his darkened gloves. He was empty and broken.

"Roxas." The voice was lower, edged in urgency and an odd calm. It was him.

"Axel…" He didn't look up at him, avoiding the intense gaze of his emerald eyes. Two arms locked themselves around him, chin resting on Roxas' golden locks. Axel's warm breath crawled down his back, inching farther down. The hairs on his neck stood on end, alert. The feeling Roxas had felt earlier had slowly begun to fade into the darkness within him, but it was still there. Forever waiting in the shadows of the hole, where his heart had once resided.

--

**A/N: **ugh damnit. lol someone inspire me so I write more than like 200 words? D:

Un-beta'd, short stories. lol so review and stuff? lol


	5. ficlet: pretend

Title: Pretend

Title: Pretend

Rating: PG-13

Summary: I would float into my own oblivion, away from others if I didn't have my light. Roxas.

Fandom: Kingdom Hearts II 2

Claim: AkuRoku axel x roxas

Theme: # 82 Light

Word Count: 280 words

Disclaimers: I do not own any of the characters portrayed in this fanfiction. In no way am I making any profit, this is made purely for the enjoyment and challenge of the writer, being myself.

**Warning**: implied shounen ai/yaoi. Pg-13'd just incase :D

**Note**: First person. Which means the narrator is Axel for once, hope I didn't kill his character D:

--

In the deep pools darkness and oblivion I drown without a light to penetrate through the lies, the lies that have no speck of truth to them. The lies that are dictated by ruthless blood red lips that are seal together with my own and commanded by nimble, skillful hands. Though, those lies are coming from the reason I go on. Roxas, my light. The shimmering light that guides me through the darkest times, the times I float into my own oblivion, away from all others. Enclosed away in myself. No, it's not hope. Or love.

I don't know what to call it.

I have no heart and therefore I have no hope or love. This light, this glorious light, shines from another. Roxas. The intense gaze his crystalline eyes set upon me making me follow him through the dark and the way my name falls off his lip, beautiful. Achingly so, but I don't love him. Or at least I don't think I can. When he runs his warm, petite hands across my chest or plants short kisses upon my neck I know he is pretending. Because Roxas, I'm sure, can't feel anything just like I can't. I guess you could say we 'relate.' But this is his way of leading me away from myself with his own perpetual light. I don't believe I can ever return this light to him, but when our lips meet and I run my hands through his tangled golden-honey locks I can pretend I have something to give him, lead him away from his own demise with my own light, which I'm sure I don't have.

But I can pretend if I don't.

--

**A/N: **a bit longer, and I finally decided to give axel in first person a try. Hope I didn't kill his character. Lol

My inspiration came from Nijuuni's deviantart piece "Pretend"

Review me and tell me if I butchered him too bad. If I did I'll try a different style.


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